In case you
need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
On a Sears
hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could
do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???.....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other
use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk
about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening