Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd
better have around de yard if you're going to let the children
Drooling: How teething
babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who
asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to
keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable
result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you
call your child when you're mad at him.
people who think your children are wonderful even though they're
sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers
do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman
whose memory of labor is still vivid.
we want our children to be as long as they do everything we
Look out: What it's
too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your
life was still somewhat your own.
A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body
of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into
Show off: A child
who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you
do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last
baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance
required between the supermarket aisles so that children in
shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you
should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those
familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine
Whodunit: None of
the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation
that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
for Medical Terms
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited