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Independence Day Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the first signer of the Declaration of Independence with a rooster?
John Hancock-a-doodle-doo!

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
"I gotta get a softer saddle!"

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!

What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
A Hessian procession!

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!

What's red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
A revolutionary warthog!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What's red, white, blue, and gross?
Uncle Spam!

What's red, white, black and blue?
Uncle Sam falling down the steps!

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

What was General Washington's favourite tree?
The infantry!

Which colonists told the most jokes?

What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
Mt. Vermin!