Top ten reasons
to become a nurse:
1) Pays better then
fast food, though the hours aren't as good.
2) Fashionable shoes and sexy white uniforms.
3) Needles: "Tis better to give than receive"
4) Reassure your patients that all bleeding stops...eventually.
5) Expose yourself to rare, exciting and new diseases.
6) Interesting aromas.
7) Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders
in perfectly legible handwriting.
8) Do enough charting to navigate around the world.
9) Celebrate all the holidays with your friends- at work.
10) Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter
what you do to them.
You know you're
a nurse if...
You believe every
patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
You would like to
meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
You believe not all
patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.
Your sense of humor
seems to get more "warped" each year.
You know the phone
numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.
You can only tell
time with a 24 hour clock.
can seem humorous ... eventually.
When asked, "What
color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.
Every time you walk,
you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps
in your pockets.
You can tell the
pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he
You carry "spare"
meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.
You refuse to watch
ER because it's too much like the real thing and triggers "flash
You check the caller
ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone from
the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.
You've been telling
stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw
You notice that you
use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.
Every time someone
asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.
You can intubate
your friends at parties.
You don't get excited
about blood loss ... unless it's your own.
You live by the motto,
"To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician
is more difficult."
You've basted your
Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.
You've told a confused
patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if
they need help.
popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
Your bladder can
expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
When checking the
level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.
You find yourself
checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.
You can sleep soundly
at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break, sitting
up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.
You avoid unhealthy
looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near
you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
You've sworn you're
going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.