MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...
* He keeps shaking
black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later."
* Every time you
draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
* Looks suspiciously
like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.
* His idea of an
"out of body experience" involves whipped cream and
* His spoon bending
requires two pliers.
* Sign in window:
"As Seen on '60 Minutes."
* During card-reading,
asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."
* Insists that your
astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
* Psychics Magazine
rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.
* Repeatedly attempts
to read your palm with his genitalia.
* Shakes her crystal
ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
Biff went to a storefront psychic for some spiritual guidance.
"There seems to be a horrible, dark cloud surrounding me."
said the psychic, "and for a hundred dollars, I can rid
you of it."
Biff thought the
fee was high, but, eager to be cured, he handed over the money
to the psychic. After pocketing the fee, the psychic then pulled
out a book of matches and lit one.
Then Biff asked,
"What do you call this dark and horrible curse?"
The psychic waved
the match down behind Biff and said, "Mexican food."
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have
launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and
his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are
going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything
The frog says, "This
is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."
psychic healers meet in the street - "You're fine - how
Where do fortune tellers dance? .....The crystal ball
What trees do fortune
tellers look at? .......Palms
When two psychic
friends met, one said:
"You are fine.
How am I ?