Q. Did you hear about the new blonde
paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads
easy.Q. What did the
blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their
hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg
say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair
in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash
vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite
nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car
with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!
Q. Why don't blondes use
vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs
in the morning?
A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt
steering?
A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a
doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a
blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in
a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde
behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has
had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't
find her pencil.
Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle
and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her
nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a
blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him
wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate
the following: "Fun fun fun
worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry
worry....
Q. Why is a blonde like an old
washing machine?
A. Because they both drip when they're fucked!
Q. What does a blonde say after
multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"
Q. What do you call a blonde with
a runny nose?
A. FULL
Q. What happened to the blonde tap
dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on
the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde
passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What do you call a blonde with
2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747?
Q. What's the difference between
butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde
throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a
blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde
standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow shit
have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the
light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last
two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's
have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the
can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde
has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two
blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a
blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde
that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it...
Q. What did the blonde say when
she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised
belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer
bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What does a blonde and a turtle
have in common?
A. Get'em on their back and their both fucked.
Q. What do you call a blonde with
pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a
brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in
the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde
sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. What do you call a room full of
blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a
pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that
bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it
at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when
she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
Q. How can you tell a blonde has
used your computer?
A. There is white out on the screen.
Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven
stores?
A. Open 24 hours a day.
Q. Why did the blonde
throw bread crumbs down the toilet?
A. To feed the toilet duck!
Q. What's the
difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
Q. Why do blondes
always drink with straws?
A. Practice.
Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A. To cover the valve stem.
Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A. They spread for the bread.
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